so for months (avery) and for weeks (nola), everyone was sleeping through the night. it was beautiful.
and then it stopped. and it was far from beautiful.
but we always had something to blame it on; teething, fever, long naps, no naps, rainy boring days, sunny active days, etc.
then the crying before and during the night routine started (avery) and things seemed even worse. and nola was still waking up multiple times a night. one morning, after we were up and down with each kid more than twice, zane's first words to me were "can i just run away?"
one day, i had had enough. and as soon as she started her screaming fit during the naptime routine, i put her in her crib, kissed her head and walked out of the room. she cried for 5-10 minutes (and i mean, cried, screamed, yelled and screamed a little more). and then all was quiet and she slept for over 2 hours.
i had read somewhere that any attention you give an undesirable behavior is still attention. (which sparked me to remember reading once "they'd rather be praised than punished, and rather punished than ignored") even if the attention you're giving is you repeating "stop" or "no" or "you're not getting out of bed again, it's time to sleep". avery was still getting our attention and presence, even if it wasn't the warmest or most understanding. she'd rather have us with our arms crossed, telling her no, than have us leave the room. heartbreaking, frustrating and touching, all at the same time.
but it's worked like a charm. and within a day the screaming fits during her routine were over. then it only took one night of her crying at midnight for 20 minutes to fully get it. night time is for sleeping. not asking for another tissue. or help with putting her blankets back on. or just another round of "twinkle little star".
then it was on to nola. it was harder for me to commit to a plan with her because she's our baby. and i didn't want her crying to wake up other members of the house. but we did something similar with avery at almost the exact same age. nola seemed to have set times she'd wake, but suddenly started staying awake after a quick change and few ounces. it seemed like it was more habit than need overnight. finally, one night she woke at 10:30pm and i fed her. less than an hour later she was awake and fussing again. and that was my breaking point. she cried off and on for 30 minutes and then slept soundly throughout the night. the selling point was her greeting me with a big smile and claps the next morning. we haven't been back in at night to feed her since, though she occasionally wakes up and fusses/talks but goes back to sleep. (and tonight she has a fever, so there's a good chance all this will be set back a day or two, and that's fine by me, when my baby is sick, all bet's are off.)
anyway, this whole idea of staying in bed all night seems strangely new to me. it's exciting. and welcomed. and much needed for everyone.
2 comments:
This is such a great reminder at any child's age. I needed to do this a couple months back when Anya got back into the routine of waking at night. She had been sick and it messed up our sleeping through the night routine. It worked although it was hard to hear her cry and not go in.
She has been recently smacking at my face when she is frustrated. I set up a plan in my head to put her down and turn around since saying no was obviously not working. I think I did it one time and it was just turning my chair around and it seems to have worked, fingers crossed.
I know I will need to re-visit this idea many times.. 2 years, 3 years.. and more.
Did you steal my post? :) Ah, we are here to inspire and encourage each other!!! Great job, you are a fantastic role model and give me hope with this second one coming!
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