loving this lazy day.

i'm so sad that the long holiday break is over and zane is back at work.

on the flip side, there's a nice slowness to today that i think us girls are really appreciating.


we did absolutely nothing this morning but eat on the couch, watch tv and play with new birthday presents. nola took a long morning nap (dare i say we're slowly falling into a routine? agh, there i said it. and now i probably ruined it :)), and avery and i just snuggled and laze-d. when nola woke up, we headed upstairs for avery's nap. one of her favorite things of all time to do is get on "mama dada's bed?" and either play with toys or have the tv on.



my mouth is healing (finally), there's still pain though it can be managed with large doses of advil. never again will i schedule dr/dentist anywhere close to a holiday (if it can be helped)! as wonderful as it was to have so much family/downtime, i was downright miserable for a large part of it all. so looking forward to feeling normal again and healing fully!

and i just have to say...i am in shock that tomorrow is december. but that means we're even closer to christmas and another long break when we get daddy all to ourselves again :)

happy second birthday, avery!!

wow. what a wonderful, beautiful, spectacular, special, awesome, very good day.

a picture recap of the day...

waking up this morning to her first present outside her bedroom!


she LOVED it! what a fun way to wake up :)


opening her new tigger. he's now the newest member of her na-na collection. her bed is filled with stuffed things and blankets...


nola is getting ready for the party. this is outfit #1...too small, but she was so happy in it!


avery sees her mickey cake...


and lets us put on her mickey ears!


we started singing happy birthday and she completely lost it...a few seconds later, so did nola :)


but cake makes it all better.


uncle james pulled out our (old, broken, out of tune) guitar and plays songs for the girls!


the end of the night. a very happy birthday diva ;)


and just for fun. a little look-back to last year :) she's grown up so much!


it's been such a joy (and an emotional rollercoaster) to go through today enjoying all the fun and excitement of a two year old and remember back to when she was first born. these days of celebration are truly beautiful. love you, lovebug!

just a few more hours...

...until our baby is 2!

we celebrated tonight by going out to dinner with the grandparents and then letting avery open one of her birthday presents, her new pjs :)

we've had such a wonderful pre-birthday day. much more enjoyable than 2 years ago, waiting to hear from the hospital on when we could head on in...more to come tomorrow :)

a thankful update

last week (and spilling into this week) was the hardest, most horrible, most painful most depressing week i've gone through- and that includes the ending weeks of two pregnancies, the weeks including labor and recovery, and any other bad time in my life.

i am thankful i'm no longer living in last week. :)

following my dentist visit, the pain got steadily worse from the extraction. on saturday night it reached its peak and i was beside myself with pain. sunday i stayed in bed pretty much all day crying, swearing, sweating and scared. turns out i have dry socket and i wish no one i know, used to know, don't know, will never know will ever get it. truly unbearable pain. tylenol and codeine, extra advil, vicodin. nothing helped. i've been to the dentist every morning this week for them to pack the socket with medication and the relief is a beautiful thing. the pain when it wears off? ugh, but at least there's a couple hours of peace in between. i found a home remedy online that's almost exactly what my dentist was doing/using, so i can pack myself up with goodies and not suffer as long.

i'm thankful for cvs and its dental health aisle.

i need to thank my parents for being available to help whenever i needed them. i really don't think i would have managed to get the girls dressed or fed (ok, i would have fed them, but who knows about the clothes). zane has also been amazing, trying to maximize comfort, make me eat food, call my dentists for advice and step into being a round-the-clock dad (more than he already was). thank you all for helping me and supporting me when i'm sure there were times you wanted to throw me out the window with my whining and writhing.

i'm thankful you kept me indoors and away from the general population.

so, now it's wednesday. i'm so so so thankful that zane is done with work, we have our girls healthy and happy, we'll be seeing family tomorrow for a delicious dinner and good company and we can all relax and enjoy each other.

to make up for the somewhat somber tone of the first half of this update:
-nola is sleeping in her crib full time for naps and overnight!
-avery comes up with new words, new phrases, new moves everyday. as challenging as this age can sometimes be if you're tired or frustrated, i think it's the most fun one yet. she's full of life, curiosity, love, memory, smarts, and cuddles.
-this morning, i told avery gramps was picking us up and we were going to the dentist. her eyes got wide and she said "big bear! big bear at dentist! and ernie!!" yes, when we took her to the dentist a month ago, she was in the room with a big bear that had big teeth and ernie was sitting on it's lap. i couldn't believe she remembered that.
-this morning on the way home from the dentist i was asking avery things that different animals say. i changed it up and said "what does nola say?" she thought for a minute and answered with a "pffffft" raspberry. classic :)
-in the mornings, i'm able to buy myself 15 more minutes by running into nola's room, turning on her new mobile and running back out. she'll happily stay in her crib and watch her mobile and i can lay back down, get dressed, get avery, eat, whatever. it's a wonderful little piece of time :)
-nola is sqeaking, squealing, chirping, babbling...love those sounds!

hope everyone has a wonderful holiday!! i'll be sure to be updating at the end of the week with pictures, etc. :)

round one done.

i went to the dentist today and have all sorts of mixed feelings. about everything. apparently right now i should be in a deep sleep, following a day i have little to no memory of.

hm. i remember everything. i may have dozed in and out a couple times during the deep cleaning (i think that was supposed to take 2 hours, and it felt like maybe an hour). but there was never a point when i felt like i was in la-la land with not a care in the world as to where i was.

it was so disppointing. all i had read about what "and the next thing you know it they're telling you you're done and helping you up."

nope. i asked the nurse if i could get up and use the restroom, please. she helped me walk across the hall and that was that.

what went wrong?? the slew of drugs i had were assured by many that they'e be adequate to knock me out and make me not care one way or another. i cared the whole 7 damn hours.ughghghghg.

sorry, at least this part is done. (although they only got to do one extraction-that took another 2 hours! and i have on more on top that looks to be as challening. i'll definitely be getting a different opinion.)

it felt like i go through the appointment with the help of the laughing gas. and even that didn't make me loopy or carefree. at on point i asked the dentist "i didn't know i was going to be so aware of everything going on." her reply was "well, this is conscious sedation. you are conscious"
ugh ugh ugh, i'm just getting more and more mad about this the more i type.

thanks for letting me vent.

counting cribs

today was beautiful out so we took a walk after the girls' afternoon naps. as we got to the church wall up the street from our house, we heard avery...

"1, 2, 3, 4, 6, 7, 8, 9"

i'm pretty sure i shrieked, zane grinned and a couple tears might have been shed. we've heard a couple numbers uttered here and there, but never in order and never that many! we asked her to count the rocks in the wall again (there's a slight chance we were both delusional at the same time i guess?)

"1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11 8"

YAY AVERY!!!!!! after she caught on to our ridiculous level of excitement, she lost her concentration and started randomly babbling numbers

"1, 8, 6, 8, 6, 8, 3, 8" but was grinning and looking at us with such pride and hope that i'm pretty sure we shrieked, grinned and cried a little more.

we came home, played a bit, made and ate dinner and started on bedtimes. 2 HOURS later, i gave up on nola and came downstairs alone. zane asked what was happening. i told him she was talking to herself in her crib.

"why the crib?" he asked.

a fair question. she still sleeps in her bouncy seat on the floor of her bedroom and uses her crib for changes.

"that's the only place i put her where she didn't cry" said with a bit more attitude than necessary. (sorry, love.)

20 minutes later, the monitor is quiet (nola's at least. avery decided in the meantime to wake up and demand "dada story!") and i tiptoe upstairs to check. she's fast asleep in her crib. for the first time! i joked that since she'll be 5 months old tomorrow, she decided it was time to try out her big girl bed ;) (good job, nola bear. but after this, you really don't need to rush into any more big girl. we've got time...)


in other news. we've been giving nola baby oatmeal with either bananas or applesauce mixed in every once in a while. tonight i tried carrots-minus the oatmeal. avery kept asking for carrots. she finished off what nola didn't eat and tried to lick the corners of the tub to get every last drop. i shouldn't be too surprised. she loved carrots when she was a baby. it was just a surreal experience to watch her spoon it into her own mouth with precision.

yes, that's carrot on her forehead.

slacker

i could use a myriad of excuses as to why i haven't blogged this week. nola was up half of one night coughing on her post nasal drip. we had 2 different playdates. zane had wednesday off. avery is now getting nola's cold. we finally got our dvd burner and i've been making all sorts of dvds from our home videos. blah blah blah. despite the craziness, we had a really good week, but i just had no energy, desire, or motivation to write anything down. it sounds like i'm in a funk, but i'm not really. just unmotivated. maybe that is a funk?

both the girls are sleeping right now and the house is literally in shambles. when we came downstairs this morning, avery's first words were "mama! diapers everywhere!!" "yes, avery. remember you ripped open the pack of too-small diapers last night and threw them all about? you do? good. what? why haven't i picked them up yet? hmmm, no good reason. just didn't feel like it." it's 1 o'clock and the diapers are still everywhere. and i'm on the couch with a blanket and a coffee and i don't see the diapers getting picked up anytime soon. nor the rest of the house. eh. it'll happen eventually.

seriously, enough rambling about my un-funked slacking.

********************************************************************************


my sister's wedding!! it.was.perfect. my sister looked stunning. perfect dress, beautiful make-up,on a sunny and not freezing november day! david (the groom) was grinning ear to ear when he saw my sister. all in all, just a lovely, loving, celebratory day. i don't have any pictures of the ceremony (it would have been awkward to carry my camera down the aisle ;)), and most of my pictures of the reception are of avery (who has the most fun she's ever had in her entire life. no joke)
here are a few to share and when i get more, i'll try to post an album.



"They don't know how long it takes
Waiting for a love like this
Every time we say goodbye
I wish we had one more kiss
I'll wait for you, I promise you I will

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
I'm lucky we're in love in every way"

tomorrow...

pictures and words about my sister linda's beautiful wedding!

100 cds

the first time i visited zane up in new hampshire, we had plans to make a cake for a party we were attending. we made it to the grocery store and back and i felt like i was walking on air. i had only seen this guy 4 times, though we had talked for hours and hours on the phone already. i had daydreamed about places we might go someday even though we had only been to a bookstore, the 99 and walmart together. we were doing ordinary things that day-grocery shopping, riding in his truck, hauling groceries into his apartment. but it felt like there were rays of light shining down on us and making things bright and twinkly.

we set everything up in the kitchen and started on the cake. zane asked if i wanted him to put some music on. sounded lovely, it would surely quiet the thumping in my chest from the nerves and excitement. he pressed random on the 100 disc changer in the living room, turned up the volume and in a few seconds i heard it.

"i wanna love you, and treat you right. i wanna love you, every day and every night....is this love, is this love, is this love, is this love that i'm feeling?"

i'm positive that my face reddened, my palms got even more sweaty, i got a little nauseus and that thumping in my chest nearly broke the sound barrier (at least in my head). the song was exactly what i had been thinking since the night i met him, when we played twister and he spun the ring on my finger. out of 1500 songs that could have played, this one won.

fast forward 7 years. we're just back from my older sister's wedding. zane's mom was at the wedding with us and helped immensely with avery. she says she hopes she was a help and that we were able to have some time just being husband and wife at the celebration. with two kids under two, time that we can focus on each other is rare. life happens and things get stressful and sometimes we forget and take for granted the love that grew from those first moments of our relationship. she reminds us to keep in mind why we chose each other in the first place.

if i think about it, i'm back in that tiny kitchen. with the guy that i'm just starting to know, but i know that it's love that i'm feeling.

happy birthday cake!

today we celebrated zane's birthday! we had a great morning relaxing and enjoying a slow sunday. meema slaved away in the kitchen and created an amazing birthday meal. we had a few close friends over to celebrate...the perfect end to a wonderful day. the girls did wonderful and i think zane had a memorable birthday :) love you, love! here's to a fantastic year.

(ps, when you ask avery to say "happy birthday", she'll usually respond with "happy birthday cake!" thank you, elmo. :))