our first family vacation!

aka...what the hell were we thinking??

it's 8pm and everyone in my house is asleep right now and after the 34 hours we just had, i really should be too. but i'm wide awake. and i'm sure it'll come back to bite me tomorrow.

we decided to take a mini-vacation to the beach for 2 nights. zane got a new teaching job for the fall and it finally started to feel relaxed and summer-like around here. it was going to be a really fun experience! nevermind the fact that we haven't spent a night away from home in a year (last summer's trip to kansas city). or that we have a 6 week old. who gets up 3 times a night to eat. we realized we all may not sleep much but we'd have fun, darnit.

with low expectations for a trip, you'd think it would be a good experience no matter what.

HA! well, at least zane and i are trying to have a sense of humor about it. he called it 'the comedy of errors'. i called it 'i want to get in the car and drive home even though it's 10:30 at night and we have a zillion bags to pack and put back in the car'.

short recap:

it started when avery missed most of her nap on the trip there. we timed it so she'd be sleepy and sleep in the car. which she was, and which she did. until nola woke up to eat and cried.

we got to the hotel and as we're going past the front desk, the reception woman says "oh! two little ones. ooh, and another on the way?!" um. i realize that i look 5 months pregnant still, but there's no way nola looks much older than 6 weeks, much less 5+ months. think before you speak. *sniffle, sniffle*

go to the beach for the afternoon. un-eventful. phew.

avery has a MAJOR meltdown on the way to dinner. screaming for the "amimals!" that she saw in the hotel lobby (stuffed animals) try to get her to eat mac and cheese and fries, but she is screaming so loud we leave the outdoor restaraunt. good thing, 'cause zane was wearing nola and she was having none of the stillness of sitting down. the poor thing (the older one) was beyond tired, probably starving, and in desperate need of her routine and normalcy.

bedtime. i'll spare a lot of the details and choice words between zane and i. avery passed out around 10:30 in bed with zane. nola sleeps next to my bed.

avery wakes before 5 to start the day. spends most of her time in fits/tears over something/everything.

at this point, zane and i decide we all need to sleep in our own, familiar spaces tonight and we'll leave after a morning at the beach and some lunch.

i break the one beach chair we have. :(

feed and soothe nola on a flimsy beach towel, huddling under our umbrella.

finally!! avery has a blast playing in the wet sand with zane. yay for kids doing what kids do best at the beach :)

we got home this afternoon, attempted to put avery down for a nap, and set loose a creature i hope to never see again. the poor thing was frantic beyond recognition and embodied the phrase "basket case". we both felt like terrible parents for putting our children (mainly the older one) through the torture of little sleep, an unfamiliar environment and overstimulation. luckily, avery settled down, had some chinese food for dinner and has been sound asleep for over 2 hours now.

it will be a LONG time before we attempt to go away overnight with the 2 of them again. and i think we're all okay with that :)

i do plan on posting about the positives during the trip sometime tomorrow. in the midst of all the un-fun-ness, there were some really good parts. really, there were.

ps,

just to show how exhausting it all was. here's nola. typical (read: crucial) sleep-time preparations=swaddled, in her chair, with her white noise machine and sometimes a pacifier. she hasn't been a "lay me down wherever and my limbs can flop and i'll sleep flat on my back" baby for weeks now (maybe since we left the hospital?) but here she is, just minutes after i set her down so i could pick some stuff up in our room before heading back downstairs. she was out cold for well over an hour.

dada sings...

...and the little bear loves it :)

family fun

we had a great weekend with kathy down to visit! to celebrate zane's new teaching job beginning this fall, we headed out to dinner (the first time nola was in a real restaraunt!) and both girls did amazing!! given the recent meal times in our house, there was a good chance dinner wouldn't last long and someone would be walking around with either the baby or toddler. but no...avery was content in gramps' lap (he protected her from the talking buffalo), coloring with crayons, or being fed with the help of g-ma kathy :) nola was passed around, dozing off here and there, not really making a peep- even when a woman stopped by our table to say what a nice girl avery seemed, and what a "handsome baby boy" we had...she had a pink bib on!?

anyway...to continue the saga...now i have mastitis. luckily, i think i caught it early enough and the antibiotics should take care of things. the worst part of all of these issues is that i can't comfortably hold either one of the kids. i can't wait to bear hug everyone in the house ;)

:) haha.

neander-devil

so, we've got a neander-devil living amongst us. she must have been here the whole time, but wanted to wait until just the right moment-between sleep deprivation and spit up spells-to show her face (but what an adorable face she has!)

we've been working on "no throwing" recently. as in, no throwing food off the table. no throwing toys (at us) when she's mad. no throwing punches (or balls) at the animals when they're sleeping. we try to redirect, we try to not use "no" too often so it still holds meaning, we try time-outs. but still the neander-devil persists.

and tonight her poor little sister paid the price...with a toy bonk to her forehead. :(

no one told us it would be this hard to feel incredibly protective of your innocent little bear cub, but have the rascal that caused harm to be your firstborn who is near and dear to your heart as well. no one told us how hard this phase is--the neanderdevil is old enough to be dangerous in certain situations, but not old enough to be mean or deliberate in her devilish ways (;)). she's old enough that we can't just ignore things, but not old enough to understand reasoning or explanations. no one told us that we'd feel grateful for the idea that one day they'll both be kids and will be on a more even playing field when it comes to duking it out.

ah, the days of "when will we sleep through the night again?" being my biggest concern...if we can get through the days now with no bruises or hurt feelings, we're good to go :)

ps, speaking of sleeping through the night...nola slept from 7:45-12:30 last night. granted, zane and i were only sleeping for an hour and a half of that chunk, but still....
pps, avery, we still love you and all your phases. just don't hit your sister again until she has the chance to protect herself or hit you back.

the harsh realities...

...of parenting 2. :)

"if you come upstairs for na-na, i'll get you some tylenol!"...

...a true sentence spoken tonight. (this title would go better with some pictures of avery's first knee boo-boo, the toddler-attacked bathroom and the food she threw all over the floor during dinner tonight, but i couldn't think of anything else right now)

this is just a random post with some pictures taken this weekend. the first, sweaty avery on the deck in the HEAT. summer took it's time coming, but now it's here. the second, zane and his girls, mid-laugh :)

good news: the pain of weaning has diminished the pain of thrush! ha. i've been pumping since we got home from the hospital. it's been a whirlwind journey of pain, pride, time, love, energy and exhaustion. i put pain first because as the time has gone on, it's dominated the experience and i just don't have it in me anymore to continue. the other night i was in tears just thinking about putting my shirt back on. and the 3+ hours a day i'm pumping, i'm not with either of the kids or zane. and it'll be nice to be able to go back to sleep at night after feeding the bear instead of being up for an extra hour each time to pump. all that being said, it's been a really difficult decision on what to do. ultimately, i want to be healthy (still have to banish the thrush), better rested, and happy for my family. it'll still be some time before i've weaned completely, but the process is started.

it's official. avery has reached the stage where she will (at least try to) repeat everything we say or that she hears. it's funny when you realize she's been saying something over and over and it's usually something new and she doesn't even know the meaning of it. i'm drawing a blank on anything specific, but it's happening :)

we had anoher date night over the weekend! grandma kathy stayed at home with a sleeping avery and a drowsy, eating and finally sleeping nola while zane and i went to barnes and noble to wander and browse. after spending more time looking at kids stuff than our own interests, we headed to chilis for dessert and a drink. it was a humid, hot summer night and so good to be out. thanks again kathy!

happy friday

avery 3 weeks


nola 4 weeks

haha...this'll never get old :)

4 weeks/one month!

k. post feeding/pre bedtime stupor ;) taken just minutes ago. happy one month, little bear!

"uh-oh! wa-wa down...sorry! sorry!"

last night after dinner, avery was running around with her sippy cup of water. she tried balancing it on her rocking horse and it fell down.

"uh-oh! wa-wa down...sorry! sorry!"

zane and i looked at each other, shocked and excited :) her first "sentence"!

today she's done more of the same. putting her to bed tonight, she was in rare form and throwing her blanket and pacifier around the room. "oh no! buppa (pacifier) down! all done..."

she's really starting to repeat anything and everything we say...definitely have to start censoring :)

the T word.

oh boy. this is the scene i just walked into in our room.

i forgot i started sorting through all the laundry baskets earlier today. and didn't finish.

so now all that stuff is back in laundry baskets. ah well.

onto the real reasons for this post.

this is one of them. sadly, it's the only picture taken recently enough to count for her ONE MONTH picture. someone, please help me. i refuse to believe she's a month. in avery's words "no! no! all done!" yesterday, she was 4 weeks. tomorrow she's one month (i guess i still have time to take a decent picture :)). then next week she's going to the prom and sending us postcards from her honeymoon. waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

her one month checkup was yesterday.

weight: 11lbs 11oz.

height: 22 3/4? i have no clue what her height is actually :)

the dr asked if we had any questions. we did.

"why did she spend all day yesterday screaming hysterically every time we tried to feed her????" (i wish i was exagerating)

i had prepped myself for reflux. (avery had a mild case...we used thickened formula for her and it worked great). i tried feeding her in a more upright position and burping her every few minutes. it seemed to work pretty well, she was definitely less miserable. we explain all this to the dr and he says if it continues, we'll suspect reflux and take the appropriate measures.

then he does his exam on her. he smiled at her smiling up at the black medical instruments on the wall. he got a kick out of her staring at his face and taking it all in. then he looked in her mouth with his little light. and there it was.

thrush.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! but she's not breastfeeding! everyone has been telling me that there's little chance of her getting it through breastmilk in a bottle! i've known something's been bothering her and should have done something about it! i've been in pain for 3 weeks now...has she been too??!?!?

hmph. crappy parent of the year right here. now she's on some medicine, i'm still not ruling out reflux, and we've been putting her down to nap every 1 1/2-2 hours today (in her bouncy seat, on her side, wrapped up with a sound machine. she doesn't make a peep when we put her down!) it's like she's a different baby. still screams when she's hungry. but pretty happy the rest of the time. YAY!!

more pictures

nola doesn't want to sleep to want to sleep today. yippee ;) here are some pictures...it's all i have time to add to the blog right now.

she's lost!

can someone please tell me where my baby girl named avery went? i swear she was here just the other day. and now there's a little GIRL in her place. she's just as sweet and loveable, but seriously...i don't know how it all happened...

by the way, she finally actually smiled when i said "smile!" before taking a picture. she usually ignores me. today she thought it was fun ;)

these faces...

make things tolerable, if not enjoyable...especially when...i've been up since about 2:30am. and the thrush is back. and one of them insists on jumping on the couch. and it rained again this morning. and there is so much laundry to be put away and my stomach muscles don't exist right now to let me stay on top of it.

but their faces are here and i love looking at them :)

ps, nola really does have hair. and a neck. and avery isn't mad, just annoyed i interrupted her elmo time ;)

splashing, belly buttons and spider hands

since the weather turned into SUMMER for about 2 days, we took advantage of the sun and brought the girls to a small local "beach". this is the one picture i got (zoomed in from a LONG way away) before the camera died. grrr. lets just say avery had the time of her life splashing through the water with zane and running wild ;) nola and i sat in the shade and enjoyed the calmer part of the beach. we ate a lite lunch/snack after avery came out of the water and avery said "buh bye, buh-buh-by" when a butterfly flew behind some bushes. it was one of the cutest things i've ever heard :)

later that afternoon i took nola to the dr's to check out her still-hidden belly button. after a bit of poking around by the dr (and agreeing that the cord stump was in fact getting stinky), the little bugger fell off! they had to put some medicine on to cauterize the oozing (ah, the joys of motherhood ;)), but said there's nothing more we need to do and can now move to real baths! it was all exciting until last night when i was talking to zane about how cute her belly button is going to be, when i started to cry. sounds silly...but it felt like my last physical connection to her from the pregnancy was gone. she's on her own now. well, as much as a 3 week old can be on their own. can't wait til these hormones settle down :)

it's really fun to see all the differences and similarities between the girls emerging already. avery loved to be held on her side and shushed loudly when she couldn't calm down otherwise. nola doesn't so much care for that by human touch, so today we tried out our old routine of swaddling, bouncy seat, side sleeping and noise machine and she's currently on her 3rd good nap of the day! avery had her fists closed tight for weeks and weeks after she was born. we call nola spider hands/fingers. she's so expressive with her hands and is always trying to grab something--her face (oh the scratches!), your fingers when you're feeding her, her clothes, or just plain air when she's sleeping.

some more observations...
-"raven-mouse and raven-bear". when avery was just days old and we'd feed her bottles, she'd frantically root around for the food and we nicknamed her "raven-mouse". nola is equally as ravenous (or seems it) and has followed with the nickname "raven-bear".
-avery sucked down a bottle in no time at all. nola takes a bit more time. at least at night. last night it took roughly 40 minutes for her to (not even) finish a 3 oz bottle.
-they both sweat like PIGS in the car seat. throughout avery's first winter, i'd always be surprised when i'd take her out of the carseat and her head would be sweaty. i shouldn't be so surprised this time around, where it is july. but it's hardly been warm here. but nola's got the curly-haired, sweat-head to prove it.
-nola loves to cuddle. loves to be held on your shoulder when she's sleepy and be patted on her bottom. avery definitely had her moments of snuggles, but overall liked to be on her own a bit more.
-furry ears. furry shoulders. furry necks. both of them. love the little baby fuzzy fur.
-i'm tempted to keep having kids just so i can see if we can produce one with a small cry. these girls have super lungs. and they aren't afraid to use them. zane was in the kitchen the other day when i was putting nola in her carseat and she started to scream. he came into the room asking if she was hurt. nope. that's just her cry. :) i remember going to a new mommy group when avery was born and hearing these other babies and their little whimpers while i had my little banshee with me. i guess that's just how the walsh girls let their voices be heard...
-right after avery was born, i spent a good hour rubbing her back while i was getting fixed up. it was the smoothest thing i had ever felt and i still love rubbing it under her shirt. nola also has a smooth back, but i love rubbing her head. it's so soft and fuzzy and the perfect size for my hand.

hopefully my next post will be the birth story...i keep meaning to type it out before i forget key parts. happy 3 weeks nola!

happy 4th!

we've had such a fun last few days!

we took avery out for a special day at the end of last week. we were in the market for a kid size couch and found the perfect fit! she now lounges on her elmo pull out sofa and loves it! after we went shopping we stopped and had a fast food lunch inside, instead of taking the food home with us. she loved her milkshake and fries and being out and about. we took nola along and she napped the whole time. it was a great first trip out for all of us!

on friday, grandma kathy came and had fun settling in with both girls ;) in the morning we went food shopping for the first time with both kids and it went as smooth as it could go. zane wore nola in the front pack and avery had her usual seat in the cart. i can only imagine it'll get trickier the older nola gets, so we're going to appreciate the ease while we can.

and the sun came out!!!!! i finally got my coffee and baby time on the back deck. avery was running around in the yard with dada and grandma and nola and i rested. it was WONDERFUL.

for the holiday, we went to phil and jills for some drinks and good company :) avery was patient watching the big kids play, and later got her turn to drop the bean bags wherever she wanted them.

she and phil had some quality time sharing chips ;)

after we got home and got both girls to sleep, grandma kathy gave us freedom from parenting for a couple of hours and we went out to dinner. i think that brings the grand total to 3 dates in the past year!! it was awesome to get out by ourselves and not have to cater to anyone else...even though i did feel a little guilty at how good it felt to get out.

today the sun was out again and zane grilled a bunch for lunch. i finally had the hot dogs i had been craving since october! they didn't disappoint.

2 weeks and 19 months!

big happenings around here :) avery is 19 months old--creeping up too fast on 2 years! and nola is 2 weeks. so far, they seem to be happy to celebrate their milestones with each other ;)

today we were eating lunch and avery was all done. she got down out of her seat and went over to nola in the bouncy seat. she started rocking her back and forth very gently, then started touching her hair and then toes. the whole time nola was looking up at her intently, working on little smiles and it absoultely melted my heart. then nola started to fuss and avery made fun of her and it was even better times all around ;)

nola had her 2 week appointment today and everything checked out fantastic! last wednesday, we had a check in with the pediatritian and she was 9lbs 8oz. today she weighed in at a hefty 10lbs 8oz. i guess we're doing something right :) for both her height and weight she's in the 95th percentile, looking like she'll follow in avery's footsteps. while we were in the office, the dr confirmed that she did indeed smile at least once during our visit. after i picked her up from the exam table, the dr was watching her and how well she relaxed once she was picked up. apparently she was checking out my shirt and gave a big smile. can't wait til we get those smiles directed at us :)

the past 2 weeks have been a whirlwind of pain, exhilaration, over-emotionalness, chaos, fun, exhaustion and excitement. i could not be more proud or humbled to be a parent to these 2 girls. they make me stop every day and appreciate their beauty, innocence, complexity, and simple joys. before nola came into the picture, i couldn't imagine what life would be like with 2 kids. i feel so lucky that i had so much alone time with avery over the last 19 months, but so overjoyed now that there's more love for everyone to share around here. it really is true...your heart grows to love more. to all those that told me to trust that it would happen, thank you. it's the most amazing feeling.

random thoughts...

-avery is now twirling herself in circles and thinks its fun to get dizzy

-she loves dancing and now does so without prompting from us first. my favorite move of her is when she slowly moves her arms, makes me want to cry.

-zane has liked "yo gabba gabba" for a while now, and avery is finally catching on. she asks for "bacga" and gets excited when she sees DJ lance.

-we're working on more and more treatments to get rid of this thrush. my goodness it's painful. i'm finally off my pain medicine for the c-section, and now this...blegh. luckily there's little chance of nola getting it b/c i've been pumping exclusively. small miracles :)

-thank you phil and jill again for dinner last night!! it was such a treat to not have to worry about making or getting food. you guys are lifesavers :)

-when avery was born, we had week after week of snowstorms. it seems our little nola bear had to bring something to the table as well. in the form of rain. just about everyday. i want to see the sun!