*things i learned* revisited

i was going through old posts and found this one from a year ago today. the things i had learned in those first 10 months still hold true today with nola here. i thought i'd add a few more. and say that i can't believe a year has gone by!

some things that i've learned in 10 short months. things i had never heard (or had heard and not believed), been told about, or read about in magazines. important things that have changed me for the better.
1. that being a mom really is the hardest thing i've ever done. it's 24 hours a day, with no sick time or vacation time. no "weekends" or half days where your responsibilities are on hold. you're on call at all hours, in all circumstances. and as tough as it can be, it's the best thing i've ever done and wouldn't change anything at all.
2. that no matter how much i vacuum (everyday), she will still manage to find the one crumb, the one piece of lint that's on the floor and put it in her mouth.
3. that i wouldn't care about using my bare hand as her kleenex.
4. that schedules and routines really are important. they help the days flow so much smoother.
5. that there are times where i want some of my own free time so badly. most times i dont get it (or dont take it) because i know how much i'll miss her and want her with me as soon as i walk out of the house.
6. that i would gladly give her anything i have if it would make her happy. my keys to chew on? sure! the last piece of pizza i've been saving and starving for? absolutely. my summer sunning so she could get her naps on time or play inside and not get sunburnt? i've got the pale arms to prove it. hours upon hours of lost sleep for pacifier retreival, rocking and shushing, trips in the dark to rest my hand on her belly to feel it rise, and feedings? name the time (i already know the place)
7. that if i could be the one sick/in pain/unhappy so she wouldnt have to be, i would. seeing her miserable is one of the saddest experiences i know.
8. that her innocence and pure nature makes me teary and awe-struck.
9. that for how little they are, it really is amazing how much room they (and all their stuff) take up.
10. that a box (or piece of paper or set of keys) beats an expensive store bought toy anyday.
11. what an awesome, terrifying and emotional job it is to be responsible for such an amazing little life.
12. that i would have bought myself nearly nothing new to wear in the past 10 months b/c i'd rather buy her stuff. she's in all the pictures i take anyway, so it all makes sense :)
13. that even though i thought i wouldn't care about the extra pounds on me once she got here, i do. but i don't want to.
14. that i really do miss the newborn days, and i really dont remember a lot of the exhaustion and tears (both of ours :)).
15. that the thought of the future and everything she (and we as a family) have to look forward to makes me giddy.
16. that i could feel closer and more in love with zane than i did on the day i met him, married him and gave birth to his daughter. it's not always easy or fun, but it's such a strong and wonderful connection that just keeps growing.

and some more in the last 12 months.
17. that your heart really does grow to love each child. if i were to have 136 children, i'm confident that i would love each one equally. i didn't know how that was possible before, even though 1,000 people tried to tell me.
18. having 2 really is more than double the work.
19.schedules and routines are more important than ever
20. it's getting easier and easier to leave for me/us time. the refreshing feeling i have when i/we get back is worth it for everyone
21. i will never be on top of laundry. even with help. by the time things make it back to their drawers, there are 4 more loads waiting in line.
22. sometimes the mistakes that scare you the most end up being the best things that ever happen.
23. having quality time with your spouse after the kids go to bed is sometimes so challenging when all you have the energy to do is sit on the couch alone and close your eyes. when the extra effort is made, though, it's a wonderful thing :)
24. i look forward to the smiles i get when i get the kids up as much as i look forward to the hugs and kisses at the end of the day at bedtime.
25. hearing "mama" (or "dada" for zane) never gets old. even if it's for the 2230395797743th time in a row and we act exasperated.
26. seeing the connections that the kids make with other people is beautiful to watch.
27. and the connection that they've started to make with each other is heaven on earth and it's only going to get better :)
28. the minivan is such a fantastic thing.
29. i never understood people who said "my family is complete" before. now i get it. zane and i, with our 2 girls, our animals...we're complete. i'm 100% sure of that, and it's an awesome feeling.

sleep, sleep, you gotta go to sleep right now, sleep sleep!

(...rosenshontz anyone?)

ah, the sleep post. at first it was just going to be about nola, but over the last few days (weeks? i can't even remember), avery decided she wanted some airtime too ;)

the above picture is nola FINALLY sleeping in her car seat. there have been times where she's dozed for a minute or two, maybe even longer. but as soon as the car rolls to a stop, she's up. and she's not going back down. on friday, i went to a dress fitting with nola in tow and she was definitely tired by the time we were leaving. on the way to my mom's house to pick up avery, she fell asleep. and stayed asleep as i lugged (seriously, this thing must weigh 30lbs...the car seat, not nola :)) the seat inside. and stayed asleep for an hour while i waited around and bribed avery with m and m's.
later that day, we all (zane, avery, nola, the 2 dogs and i) took a walk to get pizza for dinner. nola fell asleep in the stroller on the way home, i picked her up to take her in the house and she fell BACK to sleep on my shoulder for the first time since she was days old (aside from sleeping on my in the recliner before i put her down). she must be getting used to being out and about a bit more and is getting comfortable with letting her guard down ;)

onto avery. (no pictures b/c a-there's no time to take pictures when your child is sobbing and clinging for dear life to your husband and b-they'd be almost as sad as her banged up face pictures. and i've had enough sadness for a while)
around the time she was 10 months old, she started sleeping through the night for real. meaning, we'd put her down at 7pm and wouldn't hear a single sound from her until 7am. and this has lasted, with the occasional teething pain or "off" night, until recently. it was so nice to bring a newborn home, with her wacky "schedule" and know that at least there would only be 1 child to tend to at night. who knew that soon the roles would be reversed and it would be the baby that slept soundly and the toddler that wept and tore at our heart strings.
avery loves zane. adores him. idolizes him. so if he's around, no one else need be. (though meema and grammy/gramps are hard to ignore ;)) lately, bedtimes and naptimes on the weekends have been rough. she doesn't want him to leave the room, doesn't want anyone else to put her down, begs for one more kiss, story, lap, etc. heartbreaking to see the huge tears roll down her face. (luckily for everyone involved, naptimes during the week are fine. she's smart enough to know that dad's at work and no amount of pleading is going to bring him in for naptime :)) nights have been getting steadily harder. last night was the worst. we both stayed in her room until she went in her crib and got one last story. got downstairs and listened to her sob and wail for a good 30 minutes. she was finally quiet and slept soundly until 8:15 this morning.
tonight we went in and expected the same, but hoped for improvement. as soon as she hit the crib, she began to panic and started asking for someone's lap to sit in. we finished up, got downstairs and listened to her sob. this time it was less than 10 minutes. it's weird to think that we're this excited over abandoning her in her dark room when she just wants our company and reassurance, but i know it's not "abandonment" and she needs her sleep and she knows we'll be there to love and snuggle in the morning. these are the times that i really wish she would sleep well in our bed. every once in a while it would be really nice.

k. it feels late even though it's only 9pm. i think i'm finally getting the cold that everyone else has had this past week, but maybe i can sleep it off :)

the apple doesn't fall far...

we had grand plans today to go apple picking, pumpkin picking, farm animal seeing, cider doughnut eating, baby wearing, and dog walking. before we got to accomplish all that though, someone took a nasty, NASTY fall. i can't get the sound of face hitting driveway out of my head, and don't really want to re-live it all right now, so i'll just say that it was avery and the poor trooper has a banged up face to prove it :(


aside from said accident, we had a really awesome morning. we walked around the orchard looking for macouns (that ended up being where we started our search), took the dogs along (they did great!), ate a couple doughnuts, drank some coffee, rubbed some pumpkins, saw tons of bunnies, goats, ponies and lady the wonder llama, wanted desperately to go on the haystack mountain (but sorry kiddo, not for $5 admission), had a bottle, then drove home-while BOTH girls fell asleep! (separate post will be about nola's sleeping, a good one!)


it pains me to look at avery's face, but she is being so amazing! a little tylenol, a little milkshake, a little distraction and she's good to go. we've got one special little girl on our hands :)

bumbo convert

i don't know what i had against bumbo seats before. sometimes i'd see a little floppy baby in the seat and think they looked uncomfortable or silly. but...nola has been trying her hardest to do sit-ups when lying down and grunts her little heart out when she's in her bouncy seats because she's not sitting up enough. so i found a seat on craigslist not too far from here, picked it up and...it's a miracle!!! i put her in it last night when i was at my parents and she sat and smiled and watched and giggled to her hearts content.

the problem. she's not little or floppy. and doesn't quite fit :) her legs definitely take up all the space allowed and it's nearly impossible to get her out of the seat without an extra set of hands. (you might be able to see her little feet and leg turning a bit blue in the picture)i'm going to see if zane can somehow alter the seat a bit because she truly loves being straight up and on her own.

avery waited patiently this morning for her turn. she's coming down with whatever zane and nola had, so i let her eat her breakfast while watching her elmo dvd. :) poor thing, her eyes just keep watering and she's sneezed about 45 times today already. she went down for her nap without a peep and looked so sad cuddling her blankets :( (i do love how cuddly she's been today, though. i'll take her snuggling on my lap anyday...)

a lovely break. a REAL one!

i know it seems hard to believe that anyone would ever need a slight break from this cutie...

or this...creative beauty ;)...

but there comes a point where any excuse to get out for a minute by yourself is welcome.

it's even more AMAZING to get just about 9 HOURS of time away. with your best friend, your other half.

we had a family wedding this weekend and about 4 hours into our escape, i finally began to relax and enjoy the fact that we had no one else to watch, feed, hold, entertain but each other if we chose to ;) the wedding was absolutely stunning in every aspect--the ceremony, the cocktail hour, the reception hall, the centerpieces, the food (oh, the filet! you could cut it with a butter knife! or a fork!), the company, the accents every where you looked, and most of all the couple. my cousin and his beautiful bride. a really wonderful time to reconnect with family that i haven't seen in forever and just let time slow down a bit and remember that zane and i do enjoy spending time with each other ;)

by the end of the night, i was definitely ready to get back home and i'll admit there was the slightest hope that one of the girls would be up to cuddle. probably for the best that they were both sound asleep and stayed that way until 7 this morning. sleep was needed by all of us. and so was an afternoon and night out. THANK YOU kathy for making this possible and for giving us the peace of mind to get away and really get away.

wahhh? maybe. or maybe not?

so nola went to sleep around 11:30 this morning. fed avery lunch, read some stories and got her down around 12:30. 12:37, nola starts fussing. not really crying. definitely not screaming. but making her awake-ness known. i had just sat down and hung my head in defeat. she was quiet for a few minutes. i relaxed. nope, she started fussing again. i slunk further into my seat. this happened a few times. and then more minutes passed by and she was quiet.

i tiptoed to her room and cracked the door and she was asleep.

i'm happy-yay, she realized she was still tired and got herself back to sleep!

i'm sad. oh so sad-did she give up on being rescued? did she think "i guess i'm not worth anyone's time or effort. no one's coming to get me. i might as well go to sleep :(" i'm just about in tears thinking that this might be the case.

i know i'm being ridiculous. if she had been screaming (or even crying) i would have gone to get her. and she wouldn't have stopped if she was really going to get up for good. but part of me wants to rush into her room, scoop her up with a smile and say "see?! i'm here! i still care about you!"

these pesky hormones are still not out of my system it seems....it's going to be a long day ;)

**update** so, in total, she slept from 11:30-3:00 , with a brief wake up/"bark" around 2:30. she woke up happy as a clam, had a quick cat nap in the stroller when we went for a walk around 5:00 and then conked out at 6:45 for the night.
avery also slept from 12:30-4 something. i guess walking around kohls really wore her out ;)

dr update, pics and more

not impressed with me taking pictures of her with her shirt stuck over her head.

"me-ma" (grandma kathy!) got avery these new boots this weekend and she loves them! after she woke up from her nap, she walked around saying "boots on?! boots on?" i said i wanted to take her picture and she turned and said "cheese!"

such a happy girl in her spaceship! i love how she looks like a little bald man :) she really does have some hair ;)

the other night avery wanted to put my hat on. i got it on her head and she checked herself out in the reflection on the stove ;)

went to the dr today about the stomach separation. the muscles are definitely separated. things are kind of up in the air on how things will recover. it may get better by doing the exercises and with time (she said to give it a year) or i could opt for surgery down the road if it's a problem for me. there isn't any medical necessity for surgery-unless a hernia develops. she said that the bulge when i sit up is my intestines (gag, gag...) but since it's such a large portion and it's not being constricted through any holes, it shouldn't hurt or cause any problems.

i don't know how i feel about that part of the visit. i'm happy that there's hope and that i can be easier on myself in my expectation to heal (and not look pregnant anymore ;)). but i was hoping to hear "oh, this exercise will snap you back into shape in no time!" wishful thinking i know...

the fun part of the visit was that i had nola with me. my dr had her son about 5 days before i had the little bear, so it was fun to have her meet nola. one of the nurses joked that we'll have to set them up for a date in a few years ;)

this weekend was a whirlwind of stuff. a big pizza dinner at my parents house on friday night before coming home and watching a netflix by ourselves. torrential rains-canceling the block party on saturday. my sister linda's surprise wedding shower on sunday (woohoo!) and a whole bunch of laundry (thank you kathy!) by last night it definitely felt like we could use an extra day to recover.

you take the good, you take the bad.

the good:
nola falls asleep WONDERFULLY 95% of the time. when she shows signs she's tired, we wrap just her tummy in a swaddle blanket, sit in the rocker, sometimes feed her a little bit, sometimes hum a lullaby and put her in her "bed" (her bouncy seat) while she's drowsy but awake and she goes to sleep. she doesn't need a pacifier, doesn't really like being patted, just wants some white noise and darkness. the other 5% is if she's overtired or if i put her down too soon. then it usually just takes a few minutes and an ounce or two of food and we're good to go. at night, when she wakes up (usually only once) she eats and then goes back to sleep without a peep. i really can't ask for much more than this!

which brings me to...

the bad:
nola falls asleep WONDERFULLY...when she's at home. :) so, that means when she's out and about-either in the car seat or the stroller-sleep isn't easy. or likely to happen.

this morning both girls got up, got changed, dressed and fed and i figured i had a good amount of time to take a walk before getting the little one home to nap. at some point i thought, "well, if she gets tired, she can sleep in the stroller".
i got about 10 minutes into the walk. she started yelling. and it's a good thing i turned around when i did, because by the time we got to the front yard, she was in full protest and avery was holding her hand saying "nolya? hi nolya! nolya crying..."
we got inside, i sat on the couch with nola to take off her sweatshirt and get a bottle ready, she fell asleep the moment the bottle hit her mouth.

i adore her being a baby. a smooshy, cuddly, warm, happy baby. but there's a small part of me that will be glad when we can leave the house again with minimal tears :) until then, i'll cherish every snuggle, gummy smile, and coo. i know it'll all pass too quickly...

what a difference 6 weeks makes!

nola-around 6 weeks

nola today-12 weeks!

taking turns

we attacked the attic yesterday, and found some more of avery's old toys in an effort to keep nola satisfied when she's awake and can't be held.
bless her heart, she stood and stared at that frog for an eternity :)


after avery's nap, she came downstairs, saw the "spaceship" and immediately wanted in. for the remainder of the night the girls took turns. this morning, when i brought avery downstairs and nola was already in the 'ship, avery said "nola turn! avery turn?!" soon after, she got her turn.
and then 10 minutes later after i unloaded the dishwasher and heard her saying "upeeee???" over and over again, her turn ended. oops ;)

random and short.

elmo's a messy eater.

nola loves her bath

avery loves her panda bear cookie.

a late night out last night leaves me too tired for a long winded post. i survived my first week home alone with the girls. nola is starting to bat at toys in front of her. i got a drs appointment set up for next week. it's chilly here today and i love wearing a fleece. k, when i catch up on sleep (HAHA!) i'll write some more.

ok trusty readers...

i don't know if that means 30 of you or 3 of you :), but either way i need your help.

i think i've figured out the reason why i still look pregnant 3 months out. muscle separation. i figured this out yesterday when i was on the floor trying to do crunches and saw a bulge above my belly button. i read up online and checked for the separation, and lo and behold, i've got a good 3 finger width gap. ew.

so, who has dealt with this post-pregnancy and what can i do about it. (i've now realized that crunches are terrible to do, good thing ive only tried it twice! :))

help!!!

so frazzled, i posted without a title.

the girls in matching dresses on our way to a birthday party. the struggle to get them both smiling in pictures begins...

there's so much i could write about.
-2o minute naps
-walking with the girls and dogs every morning
-nola's first laugh
-mood swings. blegh.
-hearing avery say "hi nola bear" over and over and over in the morning
-my love affair with coffee
-my love affair with all things fall
but i wont. because one of the girls is up. as it's been for just about every minute of the day.
:)

welcome, little one!

it's almost 11 weeks after nola's graced this family, and we finally celebrated her arrival this weekend ;) we had a relaxed and wonderful gathering of close friends and family. AND, there were lots of babies!

allison with addison (5 weeks) and jane (2 years), carrie with adeline (6 months), meg with nola (11 weeks), kristin with hannah (11 months), me with avery (21 months)

it was tough getting a picture of the girls sitting and not looking mad or a blur of motion ;)

nola had a great day, enjoyed all the cuddles and attention that came along with her party and... she loved her dress ;) avery also did an amazing job having all these people in her house after she got up from her nap! she warmed up slowly and was running around playing with the balloons before too long :) we couldn't have asked for a more perfect day.

SO much thanks goes to grandma kathy for all she did to put this together! nola can't say much thanks yet, but i can speak for all of us to say this wouldn't have been possible without you and we love you bunches!!!

and even more good!

so i went out today and bought brown curtains for nola's room. got home, put them up as we put her down for a nap, and we're nearing the 2 hour mark for this nap!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this hasn't happened in DAYS and DAYS! so so so so so so so happy that we're getting a little break and she's getting the rest her little body needs :)