the sweeter side :)

avery is a sweetheart. a sweetheart with a silly streak. i want to wrap her up in cuddles and kisses (when she'll let me) and bask in her cuteness and syrupy hands :)



she's also a toddler. and anyone with a toddler can tell you that sweet-ness and toddlerhood can sometimes be at war with each other. luckily for us, the sweet overpowers the sour most days and we've all found pretty good methods for helping move things along when things get icky.

lately, some of the pictures i've been able to take of avery have shown that she is her own person and will do (or not do) what she pleases. no matter how hard i'm trying to make silly noises or get the camera cued up so that i can catch her the split second she glances my way. in some ways, these have been some of my favorite pictures. capturing her in her natural state-busy, independent, silly, bored, preoccupied. real.



but there are some times when i'm going to want a picture that looks like the sweet avery. and so this week we've been working on "the nice smile". before, i tried telling her to close her mouth a little when she smiled. she ended up closing her mouth, eyes, and sometimes fists too.



so today, i tried showing her what i meant. without realizing it, i must have cocked my head to the side and grinned a little grin. because that's exactly what she's been giving back to me when i ask her for it.



either way, she's a keeper. if she wants to bare her teeth and make silly faces, we'll love it (and understand it-zane can be smiling nice for a photo and at the last second, makes a face. used to drive me crazy, but now i expect it :)). if she wants to act shy and give a smug smile, we'll love it. if she wants to put on a tiger suit, stick out her tongue and run away, we'll love it and wait for her to come back. or maybe take a picture of her running away.



but we'll always know our sweet avery is snuggled inside, waiting to come out :)



ps. please leave out any comments on her looking 12 in this picture. it just might break my heart :) thank you.

but i don't wanna!

this is the problem with not posting often enough. there's too much to recount/remember/relive/say and i just don't feel like doing any of it. and for this "vacation", there's good reason to not want to remember a lot of it. but, there are probably just as many good things that happened that we'll want to remember down the line and so here i am...

the first week (plus) of our 11 day holiday break together, most of us were sick. first avery, then dada, then nola, then mama. the girls definitely got the worst of it, each of them spending (at least) one night in our bed/room during the height of their ickiness...that definitely does not make for good sleep for anyone in our house. zane was definitely the next hardest hit, and i got spared with a mild version of everyone else's germs. it's hard enough to get through the days with one sick kid, but then add another while the first is still recovering, and then your adult partner in crime and then start feeling the effects yourself and it's just misery all around. tissues, soup, blankets, cuddles, ignoring behaviors and a nasal aspirator all played a major part in our surviving the past week and a half. and a sense of humor. sometimes. if we were lucky.

but with all the things that we were looking forward to that didn't happen-a haircut (for myself and avery), hours and hours spent at the local play space (where we probably picked up the germs in the first place!), mornings lounging with coffee and donuts, long card games with snacks and drinks, birthday celebrations with friends and family (i've never been so happy to see a birthday over!), snuggling on the couch with movies at night-some wonderful things did happen that saved our sanity and memories :)

in no particular order...


on thursday, after a particularly hairy morning, grammy picked up avery and they spent a couple of hours playing at her house. it was a wonderful break for us, nola slept almost the entire time and we got a ton of stuff done around the house, but it was also an awesome treat for avery! she was so excited to have a special day out without us! when she came home (in the snow), she was equally as excited to be home and back in her space. a winning situation all around.


later that day she took her first shower! normally she absolutely hates the water coming out of the showerhead and says "all done" until it gets turned off. i was dying to take a hot shower and casually asked her if she wanted to take a shower instead of a bath. she said "okay" but i wasn't sure how it was going to play out until we got upstairs. oddly enough, she suddenly wasn't scared at all and sat playing on the floor of the bath while i showered. when she got out she was so proud of herself for being a big girl and going in the shower. really cute to see that independence blossoming.

nola's day is pretty much mapped out now. her naps have been just about consistent in time and length, along with her food intake and night routine. it's wonderful to be able to predict with more certainty now what she'll need at any given time. (it's also nice to know that when we lay her down in her crib and she sputters and cries, it's because she misses us. and she will stop pretty quickly after we leave. and if it doesn't, she's hungry and food solve it. hopefully the days of going in 4 or 5 times after we put her down are over!)

in the last 2 days, nola has worked SO hard at getting on her hands and knees. she's got a lot of weight to hold up, but she does a great job and i don't think it'll be long before she's scooting backwards or attempting to really crawl. (i want my baby back!!)

the knowledge that nola will on the move sooner rather than later, coupled with the cut avery got on her heel trying to walk through the downstairs sun/play room the other day, prompted us to clean/de-clutter/organize. the sunroom is now spacious and clean and a really nice space for both girls to be in. very glad for that productivity. and i think they will be, too.

some avery-isms
avery's latest phrase is: "look, dada!" or "look, mommy!" while she holds up something new that she's found. my favorite from today was "look mommy, prunes!" when she saw what nola was eating :)

today she was walking through the dining room and the dogs were sitting by the door. she passed by them and said "hey guys!" :)

i went to get her from her nap yesterday and i was wearing zane's fleece jacket. i walked into her room and she said "look! mama is wearing dada!" lol...

in the past week there's been a huge change in her communication. she's putting her own thought and sentences together more and more (less just repeating what we've said or asked) and her imagination is just taking off. yesterday she put her arms through a plastic bag and flapped her arms and said "avery chicken!" this age (minus the tantrums and meltdowns) is so. much. fun! it seems like each hour she's coming up with something new to share or exclaim. definitely brings more excitement to the days.

so, while this holiday season may not have gone exactly to plan...or even slightly according to plan...it will be one we will remember. and maybe even laugh about one day. the important thing is that we spent it as a family, with all of the ups and downs. and we still want to be around each other :) that's saying something.

our 8th new year...

7 years ago i spent my first new year's eve in zane's company. i had gone up to new hampshire to visit susan and celebrate her birthday and the new year. nikki was there too, and we all went into town to grab some pizza and catch up a bit. once we were back at susan's, she started hearing from various co-workers, friends and roomates. there was a big snowstorm and people were stranded in various airports, towns and childhood homes. we were preparing ourselves for a quiet, cold night. i took a bite of a piece of pizza. i heard the back door to the house open and some heavy footsteps kicking off the snow. in walked chad and zane.

my stomach flip-flopped and i didn't eat another bite of food all night.

in the end, there was a pretty good turn out for the back woods of new hampshire! it helped that there were only so many places where people could gather and party, it made it easy to find the group. we played board games, played darts, drank some holiday drinks and welcomed the new year. i talked to zane in the big kitchen and asked if he remembered meeting me in october. he said he remembered i had a boyfriend and i was all too happy to let him know that i didn't anymore. we followed each other around all night (or maybe it was me that did the following...) we laughed. we rocked at darts. i may or may not have gotten a new year's kiss ;)

some people crashed, some people hung out all night, some people braved the snowy roads to get home. in the morning, someone made a big breakfast. i offered to drive zane home when i was leaving and he accepted. i don't remember much from that car ride, but i do remember trying to work up the courage to ask for his number.

i had a feeling, but had no way of knowing, that that new year's eve was the start of the best new years to come...there have been amazing times, trying times, confusing times, blissful times and content times. the new years have brought a move, a marriage, another move, new jobs, a miscarriage, another move, renewed old jobs, a pregnancy, a baby, another move, another new job, another pregnancy, another baby, another new job...and lots of small things in between. all these new years have added more peace, joy and love to my life than i thought possible. i'm so excited to see what this next new year brings. (though i think i'll be just fine if it doesn't bring too many big surprises. i think we both need a year to unwind and reflect and enjoy the small things :)

so, happy new year all! wishing you the biggest and smallest wonderful things you can imagine.

(ps, i didn't get zane's number on that drive. but after thinking about him for almost a full week and hearing my co-worker say "just call him! you have nothing to lose. but you might have a lot to gain", i got his number and called him. and it was wonderful and he called me back.)

are we there yet?

yeah, the holidays. very difficult this year. and exhausting. (though i think for a while they're inevitably going to be exhausting.) but we got through them! with red cheeks, high fevers, medicine (in mouths, on shirts, in hair), a little bit of beer, lots of family support, a few tears, a lot of "no's" (surprisingly more from young ones than old ;)), a lot of wrapping paper, a lot more smiles (even when we didn't feel like wearing them), and insane amounts of love...we got through them! and they will always hold a multitude of memories.some good, some bad...but they're all ours. and we'll love them.

haven't had time to put any pictures in an album yet. and truthfully, with everything going on there aren't a whole lot worthy of keeping anyway ;) here are some quick snapshots...

avery showing us the cookies she left for santa. and by cookies, i mean smashed up bits of sugar cookies that we pried off the cookie sheet and then crumbled a little more. i guess she thinks santa must not have very strong teeth with all the treats he eats? (note: t-shirt and pants, red face and tylenol soaked hair from a long and traumatic afternoon of fever and medicine wars)


our little drummer girl ;) (we went to a holiday concert the previous weekend, and after they sang "drummer boy", zane looked at me and said "nola's our little drummer girl...")


oh, the outakes i could post from this photo shoot :) at least they're both smiling! (note: avery's little sick eyes :( breaks my heart. she's been a trooper though!)

while i'm thinking of it...
best holiday moment from yesterday. right after this picture was taken, i was sitting on the floor with the girls. avery started throwing her blanket on nola's head and saying "where's nolya? peek-a-boo!" and removing the blanket. nola started laughing, avery was laughing, and i was trying not to cry during their little moment. it was a true christmas gift.

why? *update*

why? WHY? would i post about this year's holidays before we're in the clear?!?!?!?

avery was super cranky and not herself last night. we thought it was because she finally took a nap after 4 days and was maybe still groggy from catching up. at some point i said "i hope she's not getting sick?"

and then at 1am, when she had woken up for the 4th time and just looked (and felt) awful, i took her temp. 102. (taken the unpleasant way, so i think it's 101 regular?) uh. oh. we brought her into bed with us after some tylenol and i'm not sure if anyone slept much after that.

she's on the couch with me right now. she starts to fall asleep and then some body part will jerk and flail and she wakes up. the poor thing is absolutely miserable :( the house is so quiet without her running around. i wish i could make her better.

*update: we went to the dr this morning. she was so miserable, when i tried to put her coat on she cried and said "owie, it's cold". her temp. was 103.4 when we got there, they checked her over and gave her some CHILDREN'S motrin to bring the fever down and had me wait around a bit to see if it worked and if she perked up.

it did work and she did perk up a little bit, gave me a small smile at least. we came home and she had a meltdown and once she recovered we went up to 'mama and dada's bed', watched tv and napped. as the day went on, she responded better and better to the motrin/tylenol rotation. by the time we got her up to bed she was asking to take a bath and snuggled into bed nicely. as hard as it was to see her so sad and uncomfortable this morning, it was precious and wonderful to be able to snuggle her all day and have her be the one to ask for snuggles! while zane was picking up food tonight, i sat down on the couch and avery came over with her blankets and said "mama nana? avery nana? okay!" and climbed up on the couch with me and settled in my lap. *love*

ps, i didn't realize she could be taking children's medicine now! i've still been giving her infant's tylenol and not even at the dose she could be getting...hopefully the big kids stuff will help :)

they've been captured.

the 2 year old. who doesn't always want to do things you ask, but still can't resist the camera. who still lets you dress her and won't pull out her barrett until she notices it in the mirror. who looks so darn cute in her little boots.


the 6 month old who just wants to move, move, move. and do. and go. and wave. and shake. and smile. and who looks so darn cute in her snowsuit and funny hat.



just 3 more days until christmas!! i think this is the MOST excited i've been about the holidays in a long, long time. last year i was pregnant and not feeling great. the year before we had just had avery, and although she was the best present ever, we were still in the early newborn phase of exhaustion, confusion, stress and forgetfulness. the year before that we took a trip to see zane's family in california and all got the stomach bug. and that's just about as far back as i can remember for now.

there's so much magic and excitement and anticipation with avery enjoying the holidays and family this year. so, so excited.

especially since we have rudolph staying at our house this year!

this is what happens when you cook dinner and leave a 2 year old to color by herself.


and this is the next morning, with traces of red still on her nose. she loves to say "reindeer?" and point to her nose ;)


'tis the season :)

houston, we have a curve.

have i said before that i really love our new dr? i have?? well, let me say it 5 million more times. she rocks.

we had nola's 6 month appointment today. we took avery along so she can get used to this new office without the added stress of getting shots, getting examined, etc. she was definitely apprehensive while we were waiting for the doctor to come to our room, but she settled in nicely and played with the toys and books and stickers we brought.

so, the doctor walks in the room and says "i hear we have a fat baby in here!" but not in a bad way...in a 'i'm excited to pinch some cheeks and rub some belly" way. nola looks up and grins and i think the dr might have melted a little ;) she sits down and says how she just loves the plump babies. she looks at her chart and said nola seems to be doing great. i say "really? phew. i've been a nervous wreck." (it's true. i cried last night. ask zane.) she asks why and i mention the old doctor not only being concerned at her previous appointment, but a little insensitive and blegh about everything. she charts nola's growth and says that she's right at the same percentile (off the chart) that she was at 4 months...so...

she's following her curve! she's got a curve! it might be a curve that doesn't stay on any of those neat little lines, but it's a curve none-the-less! there's no more worrisome exponential growth that jumps in a too-steep direction. there's just a beautiful curve .

seeing my relief (and maybe zane's look of "see? i told you not to worry!"), the doctor goes on to say that she rarely gets concerned about weight things in babies. for the most part, they all start moving around and slowing down their rate of rapid growth. we explain that avery did just that (her ribs sticking out this morning when i was getting her dressed were like two daggers!) and she asks some more questions about how avery developed and the weights of both girls at birth.

(so! i'm not a terrible mom! nola might be following a curve all her own, but she's doing what she should be doing! )

we get through the rest of the appointment and suddenly find the dr coming back in with a nurse to "introduce us", though she admits she just wanted the nurse to see "this baby!" they leave and after some shots i find myself handing over my baby so the doctor can bring her out to the office area and show the rest of the staff. poor nola. practically naked, exhausted from no naps today and after some shots...being paraded around. but you know what? she loved it. and was still able to smile for her fans :)

it was a good, good day.

except for the parts when nola wouldn't nap. and screamed. (which is really really not like her). or when avery didn't nap. for the THIRD time this week! (she did stay in her crib for a couple hours and talk/play/screech/squeal/thump her feet against the bars).

but hey, they're sleeping now. and i should too...

halfway to a year, already at fun.

i have to say it. days are incredibly fun right now. still stressful at times? you bet. exhausting and relieving to get to 7pm? absolutely. but having a 6 month old (*shudder*) and a 2 year old (*still gasp at that one*)?? just a whole lot of fun.

today, nola hit 6 months! (i'm not even going to bother asking "where did the time go?" because things have gone even faster than that question would imply. i honestly went through the pictures on our computer today since june just to make sure (and remember) all of nola's months were recorded. her when she was 3 months? no recollection whatsoever. it's nice to have picture proof.)

just yesterday to celebrate, she started sitting on her own! she sat on the rug with toys surrounding her for an hour in the afternoon, grabbing things, shoving them in her mouth, grabbing something else, shaking that around her head, squealing, shrieking, babbling, giggling. i have tried really hard to not rush any of her "babyhood" and have savored each stage she's been in...but i have to admit i've been looking forward to her sitting on her own. it opens up a whole new world for everyone :)

just for my records:
*she woke up from her nap today with lots of "babababa" sounds. i adore the babbling.

*she's starting to settle into her own routine...wake up around 7:15, bottle and first nap around 9:30 for an hour, up to play and eat lunch, second bottle and nap between 12-1 (usually it's a couple hours but lately with introducing more food, a dirty diaper usually wakes her up after about an hour), up to play again (usually one on one with me while avery naps), on good days she'll take a small bottle and a 3rd nap around 4 and if not, she goes to the play space with zane and avery (while i got to phototherapy), then we all eat dinner together and she has dinner and a bottle before bed (anytime between 5:30 and 7:00). sometimes she wakes up once during the night for a few ounces, sometimes she sleeps through until 6 or 7. it's so nice to have a really good idea about what she needs at certain points in the day...for so long she was hard to read and pretty content to go with the flow until it came to napping.

*still no teeth :) plenty of red cheeks, drool and chomping though. (avery didn't get any teeth until 9 months-and still doesn't have her 2 year molars, so i'm not surprised...)

*in size 3 diapers...has been for a while

*favorite foods so far (i think she's tried all the stage 1's so far)-oatmeal, banana, applesauce, sweet potato, peaches, pear, carrot. we have to start pushing the veggies a bit more i think ;)

*still loves blowing raspberries, squealing, screaming, babbling and laughing. i will not be surprised if she's more prone to the silly side as she gets older.

*at this point, she appears to be very open to taking risks...avery could be very reserved when it came to trying new things/toys/activities.

and as far as avery goes...
*she just started imaginative/pretend play the other night! we have these little pigs that belong to a game that she loves playing with. she was at her table in the kitchen while i was cooking and i heard her say (in the most precious, tiny little voice) "piggy friend? yeah! ok! piggy on shoulders? *put one pig on the other* yeah! ok! piggy go walk now? yeah? ok!" it was just the cutest little moment.

*she just talks and talks and talks and tries to name/talk about everything. she loves all the christmas lights that are decorating houses now and tonight in the car she was pointing them out to us and saying "and more lights! and white lights!"

*the other day she was asking for more of something (a snack i think) and she finally said "more _____, please" without hesitation or reminding from us :)

*over the weekend, zane got avery up. i went into her room as she was finishing getting dressed and said "good morning avery! can i have a kiss?" and she turned her head away from me. i was crushed and left her room trying not to cry. later when everyone was downstairs, i was sitting on the couch with nola and aver climbed up and leaned against me and said "mama blanket?" and i wrapped my arm around her and snuggled :) made my year.

that's all i can think of for now. i had 2 neighbors over this morning, each with their 2 kids and i thought avery would be wiped out! ha. she didn't nap at all. maybe she was too wiped out, i'm not sure. but i'm happy the house is finally quiet and still...

thank you, sesame street. thank you, oatmeal.

today we were all upstairs so i could get all the girls' clean clothes into outfits (makes the mornings SO easy now!), and avery was playing in the upstairs sunroom/playroom. we have an alphabet mat down on the floor that usually just gets torn apart and thrown around. today we heard "oh! the letter Y!" and sure enough, there was the letter Y. later, we were drawing different letters on her magna doodle. i wrote a Y and asked her what it was. she answered "it's Y! Y for yak!"

i should probably be paying some of these sesame characters for teaching my child such useful things.

we've been trying to feed nola a bit more solid food lately. the main reason we've been slacking is time. but now that she seems so interested in the food and enjoys it so much, we're making the time and effort to have her eat with us at least 2 meals. last night she ate a big bowl of oatmeal and peaches. and by "big", i mean enormous and i told zane she'd probably only eat half (the dry oatmeal doesn't look like much before you add the water!). when she polished off the bowl (and didn't throw any of it up), we were astonished. and then when she slept from 6:15pm-7:20am, we were thrilled. this is the second time she's slept all night after a dinner of oatmeal. it could be coincidence...i'll let you know tomorrow ;)



(as an fyi though...when you have gotten crappy sleep for just about a month due to different factors, and beg every morning for a better night's sleep that night, beware...when you finally get that good night's sleep your body won't know what to do with itself and might be groggy the whole day through ;))


so tired...

thumbs up vs. a cheek rub

the cheek rub wins!

we had a meet and greet with a local pediatrician's office tonight. at 5:15. on a friday.

we were met with smiles, conversation, happiness, interest, concern, and information. and that was just from the front desk staff!

we did have a pretty good wait to see the doctor. but again, it was her last appointment, on the last day of the week and we weren't "patients". avery had an absolute blast running around playing with all the toys in the waiting room-her favorite was one of those outdoor plastic houses, she kept opening and closing the shutters saying "where'd avery go??"-and when the doctor came out to get us and promised her stickers, avery only hesitated for a minute.

(i might mention that the doctor greeted both nola and avery before shaking our hands, asking them their names, exclaiming that they must be great sisters and giving them smiles)

we tried going into a regular exam room to talk, but avery took one look and burst into tears. the doctor was quick to usher us into another room and offered to talk to us in the waiting room if that meant avery would be more comfortable.

(she took our kids needs, wishes and comfort into consideration.)

once we got settled, avery was fine and looked at some books, her new stickers and practiced blowing her nose. (she impressed the dr with that-us too, we'd never seen her do that before.) the doctor asked us if we had anything we wanted to share or any questions. i told her right off the bat that they (the whole office) had already done an outstanding job welcoming us and making it clear that they like what they do and are also good at it. they pretty much blew the competition out of the water. just by addressing our kids personally gave them 1 million stars in my book.

so. we listened to her, she listened to us, she asked questions about us and our lives, she shared bits of her own life and we promptly set up nola's 6 month appointment for next week.

while we were getting ready to check out, the doctor patted avery on the head and said goodbye, then asked if she could rub nola's rosey little (well, she may not have used that word ;)) cheek. when nola squawked a few times while we were getting our info entered into the computer, the receptionist promised her it would only be a minute and then we'd be free.

i know i shouldn't be so surprised that this pediatrician's office cared about, catered to, and interacted with our kids. that's why work with kids right? but coming from where we came from, and having in our minds what we'd like to change...well, this place exceeded our every wish so far.

and they didn't even give us the thumbs up ;)

*our snow day*

we got a beautiful little phone call around 5:40am saying that zane's school was cancelled b/c of bad weather yesterday :) we had such a great day all being together and getting things done!

nola was the first to wake up...


the view of our backyard


avery eating her apple for breakfast-the only picture i could get of her smiling-she was being "difficult" ;)


nola chomps on a spoon after breakfast


avery waits for us to get out in the snow!


finally we get to play :) she had a lot more fun than this picture lets on...


came back inside when nola woke up and made cookies for a cookie swap. nola sat watching us for an hour!


"wash hands??"


eating the cornflakes that didn't make it into the cookies


mema came by later in the afternoon and she snuggled with avery on the couch :)


we organized a messy cabinet in the kitchen, stained our charging station, had mexican for dinner and overall just had a fantastic day :)

ho ho ho...ho :)

king and i have managed to escape the hat ;)

it's snowing here, the christmas lights are on and we feel good!!

he gave us the thumbs up.

we had avery's 2 year check up yesterday!
stats:
weight-31lbs 12oz
height- 36 in.


at the end of the appt we told the dr that we were looking around for a new practice. the reasons we shared were parking and office hours. before we had a chance to share or explain, he gave us the double thumbs up!? i thought it was kind of strange that he didn't even pretend to be sad he was losing us as patients. i shouldn't be though...their lack of personal skills and interaction with the kids is the biggest reason we're leaving.

anyway, she's doing great! this morning she put a sock on her hand and turned it to her face and said "hi, avery!!" then she told me "hand, puppet talking!" :)

70 degree santa

here in the northeast, you really don't expect 70 degree weather to come anywhere near santa. but today it did. (maybe it didn't hit 70 but it sure was close. and for december, anything above 40 is hot.)

our town had a big holiday lighting thing. the street in the center of town was closed off, rudolf and frosty came to shake hands with the kiddos, hot chocolate was passed out (we opted for ice cream instead...insane.), and towards the end, santa arrived!! it was so much fun to see all the kids (avery especially, though she didn't really "get it") react to santa. it suddenly felt a little more holiday-like.

we had decided that bedtimes would be pushed back a bit and hoped for the best. the girls were amazing! avery held hands for most of the time, rode on zane's shoulders, ate pizza like a big girl, waved at the characters and had a blast! nola hung out with me, slept for a little, and made her new babbling sounds on the walk back to the car. it was a fantastic evening :)



her first sighting!


she was getting a bit giddy and foolish :)


our pre-santa dinner. pizza on a bench. outside. in december!


happy holidays!

round two done.

i had my second (that's if you don't count the 3 times in one week i had to go in and get my socket medicated) dentist appointment today. it was scheduled for 1:20 and it wasn't until around noon that i started getting anxious-beats the week of anxiety before the last appointment!

i made it to the dentist, to the chair, through the appointment and back without medication or tears! :) sounds silly, but it's a huge accomplishment. i got the permanent crown put on and my extraction site looked at (and poked), and all looks good. i go back in february for a regular cleaning and then when enough bone has grown back into the extraction site, i'll start the process for an implant. i'm far from "done", but i adore my dentist and no longer have the heart stopping fear of getting things done.

phew. beating your fear to a pulp (or at least not letting it beat you to a pulp) is exhausting.